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Friday, 26 October 2012

What do you want to believe?


Once again, it's that time of the year where everyone goes wishing everybody else "happy" wishes. When you log in to any social networks, or even when you check out your text messages, you will see the "happy" wishes. Sometimes, I ask myself, why do we even bother to do that? But, oh well, what the hell, right? Might as well just go with flow, yes?

Happy Eid Ul-Adha.
Happy Halloween.
Happy, happy, happy. 
Just, happy.

But...

What if you are not happy?

No matter how many times you tell people that you are happy, it is never enough. Maybe you can convince others, but I don't think you can lie to yourself long enough before you fall and break. Now, I am not trying to ruin anyone's mood. It's festive season, but instead of being happy naturally, I find some people feel obliged to be or feel happy just because you are supposed to be that way on that occasion. The closest example I could give you: Myself.

I don't choose to be... unhappy, if you prefer. There are times when human feels vulnerable. Emotions are, by all means, unexpected. Anything could happen in that one split second, anything and everything, or maybe nothing at all. Who would have known that just a few days ago I was hanging out with friends at a stall for supper, laughing my heart out at every single joke or sarcasm being thrown my way, and then, life throws me back to another reality. 

For better or worse? I couldn't quite figure out.

I am not entirely unhappy, you know. Everything is fine. One minor detail, though, could change all the finer things in life and turn everything upside down. Like I said, I don't choose. It happens naturally, just like when you don't expect it to rain, and suddenly there's a storm coming your way. That moment when you get really upset about shits that happen, already on the verge of shedding tears, someone comes up to you and ask you to stop being sad, because there's a festival going on. 

That, my dear friends, is like asking the storm to go away, to go against all odds and stop jeopardizing with your day because you said the weather is going to be fine. You can't defy nature. You can't defy emotions, either. Not now, not ever. Just because it's a festive season, doesn't mean one could not feel sad about anything. Funny how some people's minds work, really. 

Yes, I am unhappy today.

I'm unhappy because I'm sick on Eid, my mum cooks delicious food, and I barely had any of those down my throat. Therefore, I have every right to be unhappy and nobody can tell me I cannot be unhappy. Fooled you yet? Yes? Whatever, even if it's a No, it's a Yes. You cannot make an unhappy girl even more unhappy. Because I say you can't. 

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