"Be your girl, that's all I want."
I don't see the celebration coming. I can already feel the dull atmosphere, really. Probably because we have moved in to a new house and we never celebrated anything here. The sadness is already beginning to dawn on me. But then, when was I ever truly feel happy about anything? I feel sad for my sad life and it makes me even more sadder. This new house is not haunted by memories. It is plain, dull and empty. There is no life to it. Everything I was holding on to already disappeared. And the festive season is making me realise of what I have been missing.
It seems like my attempt of being more vibrant and content with my life is almost impossible. Life is so unpredictable. I dare not say that I am not happy at all, but my expectation was higher. I don't know, do you even understand what am I saying? Whatever. Soon I will be an aunt. Probably the coolest and the most depressed aunt one could have. I don't really know how to feel about that. It must be fun and tiring and annoying to have a little baby around but I am not going to stay long enough to find out. I can't wait to run.
I can already sense the adrenaline of travelling the world kicking inside of me. Since nothing here can make me feel whole again, I just want to go to someplace new and start over. But there's a person I want to bring along with me. At this point, I don't even care anymore. If it requires me to go there and find him, I will. But until then, he's just a shadow I will always try to catch, whoever he is, wherever he is.