"When you make perfect sense,
that's when you should realize you're not making any sense at all.
I am not proud of what I have been doing all my life. Maybe I have the worse judgment of myself. Maybe I am not the right person for anyone to ask for opinions at all. I am just a girl, after all. I screwed up most of my teenage years, ridiculously trying to make amend for something that was totally, permanently broken. I constantly argue with myself about what I should and should not do. I am at war with my own pathetic self.
I used to believe in fairy tales. I used to aim for happy ending. I used to settle for empty promises. I used to think people will stick around forever. Hell, I used to even trust in relationship.
But I am not sure of anything anymore and if you ask me, I am not sure if I know what love is anymore. Honestly, though, do you want a person because you love them, or you love a person because you want them? Kids, my love life never worked out and after spending the past couple of months with gadgets, social networks, books and TV shows, and of course, food and sleep, too, I am pretty sure I am in love with those things.
We live for a purpose or we have a purpose to live? I wish I will be able to figure it all out soon enough before I send myself into a manic depression and end up locked away in some no-windows-and-only-one-door-which-looks-like-a-wall rehab.